in Al Dente 48 Words

My Long Awaited Dick Pic

Hey you. Yeah, you. With the eyes. Go move your eyes to the next entry: “My Long Awaited Dick Pic (2)“. It’s the updated version of this entry. You’ll like it. Not this one. Go. Now. Thanks…

I’m just leaving this here because I like the comments.

Now go.

42 thoughts on “My Long Awaited Dick Pic”

  1. THUMBNAILS???? You gave us those amazing shots in THUMBNAILS???? I was DYING to see the pictures… (sigh) – I’ve been able to avoid the new block editor, and use the very old system, that was around 11 years ago when I started blogging – I fear the day that they will not have that option available anymore

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  2. Okay.. I can tell you how you can still use the old editor if you promise to never publish photos this tiny again. Do not compose your blog in the first place offered..just put the title in and save. Then go to the Posts page, find your title in the list and hit edit. It will take you to the old editor… exactly like before. Believe me, this works. I have never used the new editor..I have told this to at least 5 people who evidently don’t believe me, as they are still complaining about the new editor. You know how to show pictures in a larger size in the old editory, correct? So mend your errant ways. And buy some new pants! Was the story about the girl scouts true? You can tell me. After all, you owe me if you follow my advice re/ how to avoid the new editor.

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    1. JUDY! *sob* I love you, man. Worked like a charm! Sucks that we have to go through that keyboard kontortion to get it done, but it’s better than straining your eyes on those thumbnails. I can’t thank you enough, babe 🙂

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      1. So glad you tried it. I can’t believe no one else has..Maybe if WP finds out, they’ll change it for the fun of torturing us, so perhaps we should remain mum. I never could figure out how to do galleries without doing this same process. After I did my blog, I always saved it and went to the post page and used it to put in photos because then the gallery option would come up. I don’t know why they think change is always good, but it isn’t. The new editor is a perfect example.

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        1. I agree. Everybody: DON’T SAY A WORD ABOUT THIS! We don’t want to mess things up by alerting the authorities, like that time my buddy blabbed and I got nailed for Grand Theft Manatee. Sheesh, what a pain it was talking my way out of THAT one (I still have the manatee, by the way). Anyway, thanks again Judy. Really. 🙂

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          1. Bet you thought I wouldn’t have a manatee story.. Well, they planted three manatees in the lake where I live (by the lake, not in it) to eat the lirio (water hyacinth) that flows in down the rivers and fills the lake upon occasion. Unfortunately, the people saw them as monsters and killed them. Poor things. Now we have to dredge and/or poison the water hyacinth and every year or two, someone drowns because their boat capsizes or they go swimming and get trapped under it. The manatees’ revenge. True story.

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              1. So sorry, but I’ve found that each bit of my pain I can share diminishes my pain a bit. I felt you were better able to deal with a bit of it than I was to deal with all of it. Now if i could just find eleven more victims. Everyone around here has already heard the story, so I have to go further afield. Thus, my blog.

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              2. You know, usually I am well barded against feelings of any kind. But for some reason, semi-aquatic mammals are the exception. I have no excuse. But I do have a joke: How are walruses and Tupperware similar? They both like a tight seal. See? Semi-aquatic mammals rule!

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    2. This isn’t working for me! I thought I’d escaped the pain of the new thingy but it arrived today. I do as you say but when I hit edit I get the new thing about the blocks. Wah!!

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      1. Anna, did you see the comment further down from Judy (Lifelessons)? It’s another method she found, and apparently easier. I haven’t tried it yet but I intend to when I pen my next entry. Assuming WP hasn’t gotten wind of this and “fixed” it, this is what she wrote:

        “You can cut a step out of the posting process. Go immediately to the Administration page and right at the very top, it says Posts and beside it it says Add New. Click on it and it opens a new post in the old editor. You don’t have to go to the dread block editor page first. Thanks to Fandango for pointing that out.”

        Give that a try, and report back!

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        1. THANK YOU!!! I LOVE YOU!!! I was going to post this: I don’t know what’s happening on WordPress but I do know it’s the last fucking straw. There’s all sorts of weird shit going on and I can’t see where the link is to put photos in and I don’t like any of it. There’s a ‘welcome pack’ which is full of writing made up of familiar words arranged in an order that makes no sense to me. There’s a lot of chat about blocks but I don’t know what they mean by blocks and I don’t want to. I could be reaching the end of my days at wordpress. I googled how to go back to old editor and all the responses were from 2018 which is bollocks though it does show that changes happen and people must get used to them. Bloody hell though. It’s the comments on Diaryland that make me crazy – you can’t have a proper chat, there’s no link to the post and you sometimes get an email to say there’s a note or you may not.

          But you saved me! xxx

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      2. Try going to your administration page. At the top left it says POSTS and a blue box next to it say “Add New” Click on that and it should take you to a page exactly like your old editor. Let me know if this works.

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  3. Agreed-new editor can suck it. And since you’ve realized the amaingness that is breezy private bits, maybe you should invest in a kilt for your jaunts through the woods. Just trying to look out for your ‘well being’. 😉

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      2. I moved here from Boulder Creek, CA, in the Redwoods of Santa Cruz Country–where they had horrible fires for the past weeks and had to evacuate 5 towns in the valley, including the one I lived in. At the height of the fire, the local fire dept., bolstered by volunteers, decided to band together and save the main business district. There was a photo in the L.A. times of a man standing on top of the gasoline station in a kilt, spraying water in. a wide circle. Guys in skirts can be heroes, too..as could you.

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              1. You can cut a step out of the posting process. Go immediately to the Administration page and right at the very top, it says Posts and beside it it says Add New. Click on it and it opens a new post in the old editor. You don’t have to go to the dread block editor page first. Thanks to Fandango for pointing that out.

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  5. Hmm. Quite anxious about the editor thing as it obviously hasn’t happened to me yet – I just write in ‘Visual’ change to html to copy for diaryland, and publish. No problems so far. Couldn’t see you photos though, miles too small and wouldn’t grow. I know what you mean about woods though. The best squat for us fatties is with the feet quite wide apart so the belly falls between the legs. Yoga, man. xx

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    1. I had always done the “switch to HTML then copy-n-paste to D-Land” also, but with this new block system every single paragraph is its own freakin’ block. I would have had to cut and paste dozens and dozens of blocks in Visual, then paste into D-Land and HTML code any italics, etc. I think using Judy’s picture fix I can now do the HTML trick for the entire opus in the Editor mode, but…what a pain in the arse. Glad you’re not having to deal with it…yet. Lol – thanks for the wellness advice. Namaste 🙂

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      1. I had an email from wordpress after this conversation about the new thing – I couldn’t follow it all and thought I was fucked, but apparently not as I just wrote, copied and posted as usual. Fingers crossed. Maybe us Brits are safe… x

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  6. I was stopped by a word you used…Frottage? I had to Google it to know what it meant and now I have a whole new query. Which definition fits the description of your preferred activity? Based on your article, I’m almost afraid to hear the answer:

    Frottage
    noun
    1. ART – the technique or process of taking a rubbing from an uneven surface to form the basis of a work of art.
    2. the practice of touching or rubbing against the clothed body of another person in a crowd as a means of obtaining sexual gratification.

    You have to admit, it makes one wonder! (And she-bears with ursine cubs want to know!)

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  7. Nice photo captures! Love the macro shots, but also the initial distance shot.

    The WP block editor has been a travesty from the day it was forced down our throats. I have the old editor installed too, but I’m too lazy to engage it. I usually just swap to HTML editing for anything that isn’t text or a single image. But I’m also working on my own server and domain. There is a slight difference in how WP works when you install it on your own server. (I also manage our work website which is base on WP and is on the WP servers. So I get to see both sides.)

    Hey, at least you have 30K acres of woods surrounding you. Here we have mountains, dust, and desert scrub. I’ll grab some photos for ya today, on principle.

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    1. Just curious — did you read the adjusted post (“Dick Pic (2) )”? It’s got the correctly sized pics, and some cleaned up copy. Hope that was the one you clicked on first….

      I’m not sure what you meant with all that server and domain talk and such, but good for you if it works! And hey, mountains, dust, and desert scrub can be wonderful subjects if you compose them right. I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with!

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      1. Yes, I saw the edited version with the full size images. However if you see thumbnails on a WordPress gallery, you can always click to see the full-size.

        I just agree that the block editor sucketh royally.

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