not fin

Well that didn’t last long.

My apologies to America, and to all the grieving families. If I had thought for one minute that someone out there would become so distraught upon reading my “Goodbye” post that they’d go out the very next day and shoot up a music festival in Las Vegas, I never would have done it. God, you people are so fragile.

So yeah, I’m back.

Ok, no. It’s not because my departure triggered a particularly enthusiastic response from some 2nd Amendment aficionado (although it is burdensome knowing I engender that sort of devotion).

Rather, I’m returning to blogging out of fear of triggering something much, much worse.

No sex.

I did mention that NewWifey(tm) faithfully reads my blog, right? Well it turns out that despite the occasional cringe (over, say, jokes about recent mass shootings. ..but when is there ever not a recent mass shooting in this country?) she actually rather enjoys my scribblings. Enjoys them to the point where she became enraged – like the rest of you – when I announced I was taking off like a velcro prom dress.

What ensued was several days of pleading, reasoning, cajoling, and high pitched whining. On her part, for once. When she saw that none of it was having any effect on me, she played her ace in the hole. As in: “You’re not getting in my hole til you start writing again, Ace.”

Gahhhh!

You women hold all the power. You know that, don’t you?

I can’t put marital congress with a 3-input wife at risk.

Look for new updates shortly.

As soon I get done with one of those inputs….

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ps…I suppose I should shed the snark for a second and thank all of you who left whining, pleading notes of your own following my last entry. They didn’t factor into my decision, since none of YOU offered 3-input sex (and I’m looking at you particularly, WhyStinger), but I thank you all for what to me was a completely unexpected outpouring of…rage? Sympathy? Indignation? Whatever it was, I was touched. Thank you.

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34 thoughts on “not fin

  1. Hooray!!!!! Glad you’re back – no matter what it took. Although I think you need a new Corgi. More material to draw from as they always make life fabulously interesting. 😜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well shit! And here I said go read his old things. He’ll be missed. Now I look like a liar… *sheesh*

    Glad you are sticking around. One of the few blogs AJ lets me read! And your wifey is awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am giving you that silent, steely stare teachers give you when you’re out of your seat. It continues to burn through you with wordless intensity until you’re back in your chair, fingers on the keyboard, ready to type. Only then does my face relax into a gratified smile.

    “Now! Where were we?”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Damnit, between being the (no joke, this the title…) Super-user in my two-person department, babysitting for two grandkids under two… I’ve not had time to compose a suitable response. Then you make me feel guilty by getting back on the horse. So to speak. Tell your wife many thanks, and welcome back!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Who knew all it would take was a little unsubtle blackmail? I’ll have to keep that in mind. Just in case, y’know.

    Glad you opted not to bow out just yet, after all. We your adoring escapees… er, fans… raise a glass to your spouse for brow-beating you into agreement.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol. Thanks kid. Believe it or not, that’s almost exactly how it went down (so to speak). I fully intended to walk away from this, but she would have none of it. I was literally harangued for days until I caved. I guess my only hope now for escape is widower-hood….

      Like

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