PORN!

For my buddy PoundHeadHere. The rest of you should avert your gaze.

OK Poundy, get out your Hitachi Magic Wand and make sure it has fresh batteries.

My collection has grown a bit since that last shot:

Not all of them are Le Creuset (bonus points if you can identify the 4 that aren’t), but each of them that are, were given to me on a birthday. NewWifey(tm) began the tradition of giving me one piece a year when we first got together and I told her how much I wanted one. Now I’m swimming in them. I wish she’d stop already!

…not really.

Underneath that bottom row of pots are two shelves filled with cookbooks, including every issue of Cooks Illustrated, half in a bound set, an *almost* complete set of the 70’s classic “Time-Life” food and wine series, and 3 copies of “Joy of Cooking”: one mine, one my mom’s, one my grandmother’s – a 1946 edition that is the most, um, “educational” of the bunch to read*.

There’s a matching unit on the other side of the room. Both were built by NewWifey(tm) out of solid oak. The other one holds various other playthings: Romertopf, ice cream maker, stovetop smoker, the microwave, and more cookbooks (I have around 400 in all).

Those two are up against the back wall of the kitchen, one on each side of a bay window, under which is our casual kitchen dining table. Face forward and you see where the magic actually happens:

Interesting side note: NewWifey(tm) LOATHES this kitchen. It is one of the few ongoing points of contention in our entire marriage.

Why?

“Those cabinets are sooooooooo 80’s!” She HATES them. Hates the almond color, the slotted handles instead of knobs, the light wood trim. She’s also irked that I keep so much gear on the counters (“Why the hell do you need BOTH stand mixers out?!“). She also hates the wonky electric stove, but there’s not much she can do about that, since no gas lines run through our little mountain community and she’s scared of propane. So it’s electric, or raw.

But she does like the overhead pot rack, probably because she built and installed it herself. Women!

BTW, much as you may covet my Le Creuset collection – and well you should – my real kitchen workhorses are hanging in that rack. Those pots and pans, many from my chef days, a few purchased since, see probably 75% of the action at meal times. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can’t make something phenomenal just because you don’t have enameled cast iron. I made my living pumping out gourmet fare for years, never once owning even a single piece. Don’t get me wrong, they are GREAT to cook with. But technique trumps everything. I know we’ve gone over this before, o’ Queen of Substitutions, but I just wanted to underscore it. Plus, I like hearing myself type 🙂

Ooo, I wanna quick zoom in on a piece you probably can’t see in the full kitchen photo:

I put a vampire fangs sticker on my garlic holder! God, I’m endlessly entertaining….

And this classy little number normally takes pride of place on the side buffet, but I’m forced to hide it when any of NewWifey(tm)’s friends drop by. They, it seems, have a different definition of “entertaining”. Bitches.

I was gonna wrap it up here, but since I have the folder open…

You deserve Champagne and a slice of pear-and-almond-cream tart after an orgasm like that. So here ya go:

Now go wash that thing off and put it away before the kids show up.

Ciao!

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*

And that’s just one of many….